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5 Key Points for Reduced Conflict in Communication:
PICASWhether we are communicating to a partner, friend, or family member, we are going to have moments where we are triggered. When those triggers turn into anger, they can cause serious problems in our relationships. Sometimes people shut down when they are angry, in fear that they will say the wrong thing and push their partner or loved one away. Sometimes they act out in anger. This can look obvious like yelling, blaming, and belittling. Or it can be subtle, such as closing doors a little harder than usual, stomping rather than walking, or just showing slightly more aggression in body language. Unfortunately, anger in some relationships can result in…
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3 Ways to Feel Happier This Year
When I was younger I used to believe happiness was a byproduct of a perfect set of ideal conditions. Somehow if I met and married the right person, had a beautiful, big house, found the right job, and had 3 children and a dog then happiness would surely follow. If you’ve walked the earth long enough, you’ve probably come to realize life is no fairytale. The perfect set of conditions does not exist. My life never arrived at what I perceived would equal happiness. Yet, along the way I have learned what happier people tend to do more than those who feel happiness is like a long lost relative. And…
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Surviving Grief During The Holidays
Holidays can be hard. Especially, if someone you love is no longer here. Grief is a complexemotion with no clear indicators of how and when and in what intensity it will show up and befelt. During the holidays, grief can come in waves or in a persistent downpour. Despite how itchooses to show up, here are a few suggestions on how to survive the grief you may feel thisholiday season. Acknowledge Your Feelings Acknowledging how you feel helps you heal, especially when you are grieving. Avoiding painfulemotions because they are uncomfortable and unsettling is something we all try to do from timeto time. The holes left from a loved one…
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The Power of Presence
Have you ever gone to an event or celebration and by the end of it felt like you missed it? Shared a story with someone and thought the other person had no clue what you said? Went to dinner where it seemed your dinner dates were more interested in their phone than you? Or have you sat back in a crowded space and felt completely alone-like no one was paying attention? If you have, you are not alone. We are living a in time where many people, places, and things are competing for our focus and attention. Distractions are plenty. Staying focused is more challenging than ever. We long for…
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Should I Take Medication For My Mental Health?
Depending on who you talk to, this question could have a lot of different answers. While some folks can answer this question for themselves with a very easy yes or a very easy no, others find themselves somewhere in between, and are not so sure about what path they want to take. While this article will in no way attempt to answer that question for you and your unique circumstances, it will give you a few things to think about as you are making this very important decision for your mental health. What is psychotropic medication? Firstly, when we talk about medication for your mental health, we are usually referring…
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The Enlightened Couple
Thousands of years ago, the Buddhist Zen Master Yunmen was asked, “What is enlightenment?”. Yunmen’s reply was simple: “An appropriate response.” Seems easy enough, right? How does a couple live an enlightened relationship? Is it possible that if we simply have an appropriate response, that all of our arguments and relational angst will wash away? Maybe. If you’re like me, though, you might be taking note that you are only nominally familiar with Zen Buddhist teachings, though they seem peaceful and wonderful. And you certainly are feeling a little far from enlightened, and definitely a little less than polished when it comes to finding the appropriate response. What is an…
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Escaping the Avoidance Trap
When the summer heat made its way into town this year, I was excited about getting to cool off in my above ground pool. But, there was a problem. The pool was a murky, dark lagoon of sticks, leaves, and algae. Plus, it smelled terrible. Now if you are thinking, “How did she let her pool get that bad?” Please know, it’s a question I asked myself many times. The truth is the pool didn’t turn into a murky mess overnight. It was a slow progression over a period of 10 months. It all started with me missing cleaning it once one week which turned into two weeks then two…
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5 Benefits of Premarital Counseling
Deciding who you will spend the rest of your life with is one of the most serious decisions you will ever make. Planning a wedding requires a lot of time, energy, and money to get all of the details for your big day just right. However, planning for an actual marriage goes far beyond the wedding day. If you and your future spouse would like to build a love that lasts a lifetime, consider the following benefits to seeking premarital counseling: Provides an Opportunity to Address Issues Oftentimes, having necessary conversations about serious marriage topics can be uncomfortable and challenging for couples to navigate alone. Premarital counseling is a great…
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Athletes and the Mental Game
Embracing a Mind-Body-Spirit Connection to Create Your Best Performance Why Did I Feel This Way? Not once in my training had I ever even come close to the required swim pace I would need for this race. IronMan regulations give you 1 hour and 10 minutes tops to complete the swim distance or you are not allowed to move on to the bike and run portion. My fastest time as of yet was something like 2 hours. The day before the race, I became completely depressed. Panic and hopelessness were close behind, and shut down wasn’t too far after. What had happened to all the courage I had felt? My…
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5 Ways to Support Children with ADHD
Does your child have ADHD? Do you ever feel stuck or overwhelmed trying to connect and communicate with your ADHD child? You are not alone. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is very common in children. Children with ADHD can have difficulty paying attention and concentrating. They can also be hyperactive or impulsive. While some children cope well with their symptoms, other children have more difficulty. Here are five ways you can support children with ADHD. Create a Schedule Making a schedule and sticking to it may seem impossible for busy parents. Creating a schedule, though, can make your child’s day organized and predictable. Parents can begin by slowly integrating…
