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What Got You Here Won’t Always Get You There: When Survival Skills Stop Serving You
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the things that have gotten me here. The ways I learned to push through, figure things out, stay busy, keep moving, be independent, and anticipate what might happen next so I could be prepared. Some of those ways of being started a long time ago, during seasons when life was hard, and I was simply doing what I knew to do to make it through. And the truth is, many of those skills served me well. They helped me survive difficult things. Some even helped me succeed. But I am realizing something else too: what helps us survive one season may not…
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Do We Actually Know How to Be Bored Anymore?
Think briefly about the small mundane moments of your day-to-day schedule. You are sitting in the waiting room of an office, waiting in line at a restaurant, stopped in traffic, or simply unsure about what to do next. What do you do? The instinct is unconscious. I am tempted to grab my phone. I need to fill the space, make the time go by faster, or escape the quiet. I am bored. But what is boredom? Why is it so hard? And further still, is boredom a problem to be solved, or an opportunity for which we are made, that we as a culture no longer appreciate? How can we…
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How We Can Break the Silence Around Suicide and Depression
I recently came across a post online about depression that stopped me for a moment. The person sharing it said that, from the outside, most people would probably never know they were struggling. They appear happy, take care of their kids, go to work, and move through life like everything is fine. Then they shared something that I think captures the reality for so many people: “People have no idea what’s going on inside the heads of people suffering. We look no different than anyone else…” I have someone close to me, and a conversation with them just last night before I wrote this reinforced something I already know: even…
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How to Stop Making Assumptions in Relationships
Not long ago, I sent someone a message and did not receive a response. At first, I did not think much about it. They were probably busy. But as more time passed, my mind began filling in the silence. Maybe they were upset with me. Maybe I had said something wrong. Maybe they were avoiding the conversation. Before long, I had created an entire story without having all the facts. When the person finally responded, the explanation was simple. They had been overwhelmed, distracted, and dealing with something that had nothing to do with me. Nothing was wrong between us. But for a little while, my assumptions made it feel…
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How Early Childhood Trauma and Attachment Shape a Child’s Brain and Relationships
Many people think trauma only happens when a child gets older. But that is not true. Trauma can start very early in life. It can even begin before birth. When we talk about attachment, we are talking about the bond between a child and their caregiver. This bond is called a dyad. It means two people working together, usually a parent and child. This relationship helps shape how a child feels about safety, love, and trust. Trauma Can Start Before Birth Research shows that stress during pregnancy can affect a baby. When a pregnant person is under a lot of stress, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol. These hormones…
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It’s Not Just “Baby Blues”: Understanding Mental Health After Birth
Having a baby is often expected to feel joyful.But many new parents feel something very different.They feel overwhelmed, anxious, sad, or not like themselves.And they start wondering: “Is this normal?” The truth is this:Mental health changes after birth are very common.But not all of them are just the “baby blues.” Some parents experience postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or postpartum OCD. These are part of a group called perinatal mental health conditions or perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs).They are real. And they are treatable. What Are the Baby Blues? The baby blues are mild mood changes after childbirth.They usually start within a few days after birth. Common symptoms of baby…
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Why Autism in Women and Girls Is Still Being Missed
Part 3 of the Say It Louder Series In Part 1, we talked about how women are often told their symptoms are “just anxiety.” In Part 2, we discussed how hormonal imbalances can impact mental health and why those symptoms are often overlooked. In Part 3, we explored chronic pain and how many women are left feeling dismissed when their physical symptoms are misunderstood. And now we need to talk about something many women are only discovering much later in life: They may be autistic—and no one recognized it. More women and girls are being diagnosed with autism later in life because many do not fit outdated stereotypes. They may…
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How to Navigate Life Transitions When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan
Why Life Transitions Are More Common Than We Realize Have you ever noticed how much of life is spent in transition? We move from one season to another, one role to the next, one chapter closing while another is just beginning. Some transitions are expected—graduating, starting a new job, getting married, becoming a parent, or watching children grow up and leave home. Others arrive uninvited—a job loss, a diagnosis, the end of a relationship, grief, disappointment, or a dream that didn’t unfold the way we thought it would. The truth is, life transitions happen more often than we realize. And if we’re being honest, most of us don’t particularly like…
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Why Chronic Pain in Women Is Often Misunderstood
Part 3 of the Say It Louder Series In Part 1, we talked about how women are often told their symptoms are “just anxiety” while deeper health concerns are overlooked. In Part 2, we explored how hormonal imbalances can significantly affect women’s mental health—and how many women are left struggling because no one is connecting the dots. And now we need to talk about another issue affecting millions of women: Chronic Pain. Because far too many women are living with daily pain while being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or told it’s all in their head. And that has to change. When Chronic Pain in Women Becomes “Normal” Many women live with symptoms…
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Why Communication Feels Harder Than Ever: 6 Tips to Help You
We’re More Connected Than Ever, Yet Many People Feel More Misunderstood There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: communication feels harder than it used to. Not because we have fewer ways to connect. If anything, we are more connected than ever before. We can send a text instantly, react with an emoji in seconds, jump on a video call across the world, or type out our thoughts at any hour of the day. Yet somehow, many people feel more misunderstood, more disconnected, and more emotionally exhausted in conversations than ever before. I see it in relationships. I see it in workplaces. I see it in friendships, families, and…
