What Exactly is Gaslighting and Are You a Victim?

Gaslighting is a term that has gained attention in recent years, especially in discussions surrounding toxic relationships and psychological manipulation. The term “gaslighting” originates from the play and film “Gaslight,” where a husband manipulates his wife into questioning her own reality. The concept was further popularized by the 1944 film adaptation starring Ingrid Bergman. The term “gaslighting” was coined to describe a form of psychological manipulation where the perpetrator seeks to sow seeds of doubt in the victim, making them question their own perceptions and sanity. It is a tactic often used by abusive individuals to gain control and power over others by undermining their confidence and sense of reality. According to the original definition, gaslighting involves making someone feel less than the manipulator, dismissing their opinions, making them doubt their own memory and judgment, and provoking emotional responses such as anger.

After working with victims of domestic abuse for eight years, I was able to understand the term “gaslighting” more clearly. Gaslighting can be summed up as a manipulative tactic used to diminish someone’s self-worth, invalidate their thoughts and feelings, induce feelings of confusion and self-doubt, and provoke emotional reactions like anger. Recognizing gaslighting behavior is crucial in maintaining healthy relationships and protecting one’s mental health.

Through my professional experience, I have narrowed down some of the most common methods of gaslighting. They include:

  1. Downplaying or dismissing the other person’s feelings or experiences. 
  2. Invalidating the other person’s opinions or viewpoints. 
  3. Twisting facts and reality to make the other person question their sanity. 
  4. Blaming the other person for the manipulator’s actions or behavior. 
  5. Minimizing the other person’s achievements or strengths. 
  6. Using tactics to control and manipulate the other person’s emotions or actions. 

It is important to trust your instincts and seek support if you believe you are being gaslighted. By understanding the methods of gaslighting and being able to identify manipulative behavior, individuals can empower themselves to set boundaries and protect their mental and emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, validation, and empathy in all your relationships. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and no one should have to endure such harmful behavior. If you or someone you know is experiencing gaslighting, reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional for support and guidance. You can also reach out to your local community’s domestic violence shelters or outreach programs, where you may be able to receive free support and services, such as counseling, legal assistance, and even financial services. 

Missy Daniel, LPC, provides counseling at Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting in Alexandria, LA and online counseling in Louisiana.

About the Author

Missy Daniel, LPC, specializes in working with survivors of domestic abuse. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.

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