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What Happens During Couples Therapy? (And Why It May Be Different Than You Think)
For many couples, deciding to schedule the appointment isn’t actually the hardest part. The hardest part is walking through the door. I’ve talked with many couples who admitted they almost canceled their first session—not because they didn’t want help, but because they had no idea what to expect. They worried they would spend an hour arguing in front of a stranger, be told everything they were doing wrong, or leave feeling worse than when they arrived. If you’ve ever wondered what really happens during couples therapy, you’re not alone. In fact, it’s one of the first questions people ask when they’re considering reaching out. The good news is that therapy…
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Is Couples Therapy Only for Relationships in Crisis? (Spoiler: No)
“Do you think we need therapy?” It’s a question that often gets whispered rather than spoken out loud. Sometimes it comes after another frustrating argument. Sometimes it’s asked during a quiet drive home. Sometimes it isn’t asked at all because both people are wondering the same thing, but neither wants to be the first to say it. And almost every time, one sentence follows. “I don’t think we’re that bad.” I’ve always found that interesting. Because when did we decide that relationships have to be falling apart before they’re worthy of attention? We don’t think that way about much else. We change the oil before the engine fails. We schedule…
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Why Couples Keep Having the Same Fight (And How to Break the Cycle)
Have you ever looked at your partner halfway through an argument and thought, “How are we here again?” Maybe this week’s disagreement is about the dishes. Last week was about the budget. Before that, it was whose turn it was to pick up the kids, why one person didn’t answer a text message, or why the laundry is still sitting in the dryer. The details change. The feelings don’t. As a couples therapist, one of the most common things I hear is, “We just keep having the same fight.” And while every couple’s story is unique, I’ve noticed something fascinating over the years. The arguments may sound different, but underneath…
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How to Stop Making Assumptions in Relationships
Not long ago, I sent someone a message and did not receive a response. At first, I did not think much about it. They were probably busy. But as more time passed, my mind began filling in the silence. Maybe they were upset with me. Maybe I had said something wrong. Maybe they were avoiding the conversation. Before long, I had created an entire story without having all the facts. When the person finally responded, the explanation was simple. They had been overwhelmed, distracted, and dealing with something that had nothing to do with me. Nothing was wrong between us. But for a little while, my assumptions made it feel…
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How Early Childhood Trauma and Attachment Shape a Child’s Brain and Relationships
Many people think trauma only happens when a child gets older. But that is not true. Trauma can start very early in life. It can even begin before birth. When we talk about attachment, we are talking about the bond between a child and their caregiver. This bond is called a dyad. It means two people working together, usually a parent and child. This relationship helps shape how a child feels about safety, love, and trust. Trauma Can Start Before Birth Research shows that stress during pregnancy can affect a baby. When a pregnant person is under a lot of stress, the body releases stress hormones like cortisol. These hormones…
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It’s Not Just “Baby Blues”: Understanding Mental Health After Birth
Having a baby is often expected to feel joyful.But many new parents feel something very different.They feel overwhelmed, anxious, sad, or not like themselves.And they start wondering: “Is this normal?” The truth is this:Mental health changes after birth are very common.But not all of them are just the “baby blues.” Some parents experience postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, or postpartum OCD. These are part of a group called perinatal mental health conditions or perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs).They are real. And they are treatable. What Are the Baby Blues? The baby blues are mild mood changes after childbirth.They usually start within a few days after birth. Common symptoms of baby…
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Why Autism in Women and Girls Is Still Being Missed
Part 3 of the Say It Louder Series In Part 1, we talked about how women are often told their symptoms are “just anxiety.” In Part 2, we discussed how hormonal imbalances can impact mental health and why those symptoms are often overlooked. In Part 3, we explored chronic pain and how many women are left feeling dismissed when their physical symptoms are misunderstood. And now we need to talk about something many women are only discovering much later in life: They may be autistic—and no one recognized it. More women and girls are being diagnosed with autism later in life because many do not fit outdated stereotypes. They may…
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How to Navigate Life Transitions When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan
Why Life Transitions Are More Common Than We Realize Have you ever noticed how much of life is spent in transition? We move from one season to another, one role to the next, one chapter closing while another is just beginning. Some transitions are expected—graduating, starting a new job, getting married, becoming a parent, or watching children grow up and leave home. Others arrive uninvited—a job loss, a diagnosis, the end of a relationship, grief, disappointment, or a dream that didn’t unfold the way we thought it would. The truth is, life transitions happen more often than we realize. And if we’re being honest, most of us don’t particularly like…
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Why Chronic Pain in Women Is Often Misunderstood
Part 3 of the Say It Louder Series In Part 1, we talked about how women are often told their symptoms are “just anxiety” while deeper health concerns are overlooked. In Part 2, we explored how hormonal imbalances can significantly affect women’s mental health—and how many women are left struggling because no one is connecting the dots. And now we need to talk about another issue affecting millions of women: Chronic Pain. Because far too many women are living with daily pain while being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or told it’s all in their head. And that has to change. When Chronic Pain in Women Becomes “Normal” Many women live with symptoms…
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Why Communication Feels Harder Than Ever: 6 Tips to Help You
We’re More Connected Than Ever, Yet Many People Feel More Misunderstood There’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately: communication feels harder than it used to. Not because we have fewer ways to connect. If anything, we are more connected than ever before. We can send a text instantly, react with an emoji in seconds, jump on a video call across the world, or type out our thoughts at any hour of the day. Yet somehow, many people feel more misunderstood, more disconnected, and more emotionally exhausted in conversations than ever before. I see it in relationships. I see it in workplaces. I see it in friendships, families, and…
