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Silencing Your Inner Critic
The words we tell ourselves are powerful. They shape how we show up in the world and what we believe we are capable of. After thousands of conversations I’ve had over the years, along with my own lived experience, I have come to realize we all have an internal world unseen by the people around us. One recurring theme that emerges is the undeniable power of the words we tell ourselves, and the profound impact it has on our mental well-being. Our inner dialogue, that constant stream of thoughts buzzing in our minds, plays a crucial role in shaping our emotions and behaviors. It’s like having a personal narrator, commenting…
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Assertive Communication: 5 CLEAR Truths to Express Yourself with Confidence
Assertive communication is a powerful tool that allows individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and respectful manner. By using “I” statements instead of blaming language, assertive communication promotes healthy relationships, helps avoid conflicts, and enables individuals to set boundaries effectively. Not everyone knows how, or has the confidence, to begin using assertive communication. Using the acronym CLEAR, I have identified 5 truths than can help you gain confidence and understanding that can lead to healthier communication. Clarity through “I” Statements: Assertive communication emphasizes expressing oneself using “I” statements rather than using accusatory language with the word “you.” For instance, instead of saying, “You never listen to…
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An Introduction to Basic Communication: Why Assertiveness is Key
Communication is an essential part of our daily lives. It is how we express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to others. However, not all is created equal. There are three main types of communication: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Each type has its own unique characteristics and can have a significant impact on our relationships with others. Passive Communication Passive communication is when a person does not say what they need or how they feel. Passive communicators are usually afraid of conflict and avoid confrontation at all costs. People who communicate passively often end up isolating themselves, withdrawing from others, and internalizing their feelings. This can lead to feelings of resentment,…
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Mental Health and First Responders
First responders work hard to protect our communities and maintain our safety. Their work often involves engaging in very stressful and traumatic situations. They often encounter difficult situations many times a day. Frequent encounters with those struggling with mental health issues can cause compassion fatigue. Compassion fatigue is a mental response to helping others in stress. These encounters can also create misconceptions about individuals with mental health challenges. Misconceptions can create a stigma surrounding seeking mental health support for first responders. Even though a stigma exists, many first responders struggle with mental health difficulties. Reports show 85% of first responders have experienced symptoms of mental health disorders. Depression and PTSD…
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Good Teachers Have Scary Thoughts
It was my first (and only) year teaching. Though my background was in mental health, I thought I would try my hand at education. Sure, it was an incredible learning curve to be a teacher, but, all things considered, I did pretty well. My classroom was one of clear and high expectations, kindness, creativity, mutual respect, and learning. I had great reviews from administration, fantastic results on evaluations, and my supervisors were encouraging me to continue the teaching path. But good teachers can have scary thoughts. What I would never let anyone know was that, while on the outside I seemed to have a pretty well-put together classroom, on the…
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5 Key Points for Reduced Conflict in Communication:
PICASWhether we are communicating to a partner, friend, or family member, we are going to have moments where we are triggered. When those triggers turn into anger, they can cause serious problems in our relationships. Sometimes people shut down when they are angry, in fear that they will say the wrong thing and push their partner or loved one away. Sometimes they act out in anger. This can look obvious like yelling, blaming, and belittling. Or it can be subtle, such as closing doors a little harder than usual, stomping rather than walking, or just showing slightly more aggression in body language. Unfortunately, anger in some relationships can result in…
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Therapy is for Everyone
Over the past decade in my work as a therapist, I have had the privilege to talk with people of all ages, backgrounds, and experiences. Through my interactions with others, I have realized therapy is for everyone. There are many reasons people seek therapy (also known as counseling). Maybe it’s because they’re going through difficult life transitions, experiencing unbearable grief, struggling in their relationships, or stressed out about life. Other reasons people seek therapy is because they are uncertain of how to navigate overwhelming feelings, traumatic experiences, conflict within their family, their child’s big feelings or behaviors, or something else entirely. Gone are the days when therapy is just for…
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Journal Through a Pandemic
When you’re stuck at home during a pandemic, where does your time go? A recent statistic stated the average number of hours Americans are streaming videos through mediums such as Netflix, Hulu, or YouTube is approximately 8 hours a day. Think about that for a moment: 8 hours a day! Kind of shocking right? In fact, Netflix added 15.77 million more subscribers globally this quarter, many of them added after the onset of quarantine. During this time it’s important to spend time unwinding. If streaming the latest video series helps you do that, then that’s okay. However, if you are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, streaming shows can become…
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Does My Child Need Counseling?
When you see your child struggling, it can be hard to know what to do as a parent. In those moments you may wonder, “Are they going through a phase or is this something more?” Most of the time it’s not always clear as to what is going on or what you should do, leaving you with the question, “Does my child or teen need counseling?” There is no parenting manual I often ask parents when they come into my office if they ever received the manual on how to deal with all the challenges parenting throws their way. Out of the hundreds of parents I’ve asked over the course…
