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Conflict–The Way Out is (Talking) Through
I have met very few people in my lifetime who actually enjoy conflict. For many, conflict is something they avoid at all costs. This is because conflict often brings emotional discomfort, as it involves facing different opinions, or tensions that can be hard to navigate. Sometimes we fear consequences that may result from conflict, such as hurt in relationships, rejection, or even professional repercussions. Conflict, even on a good day, can cause stress and anxiety–especially if you avoid important issues in the name of “keeping the peace” or not “rocking the boat.” Before I dive into how to address and resolve conflict in a healthy, productive way, let’s first talk…
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The Magic of Saying “No”
How Protecting Your mental Health Can Start with a Simple Word Life is a whirlwind, isn’t it? We’re constantly bombarded with requests, invitations, and favors that seem to pile up faster than laundry on a Sunday afternoon. And let’s be real, we’ve all been there—saying “yes” to everything that comes our way because we want to be helpful, supportive, and well-liked. But what if I told you that the power to protect your mental health could be as simple as saying “no”? The Heavy Burden of Overcommitment We’ve heard the phrase “burning the candle at both ends,” and it couldn’t be truer in today’s world. Overcommitting yourself can lead to…
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The Complex Interplay of Domestic Abuse, Narcissism, and Self-Esteem
Domestic abuse is a deeply troubling issue that affects countless individuals worldwide. It is important to understand the dynamics surrounding this issue. This includes the role of narcissism and self-esteem. While domestic abuse is not solely caused by low self-esteem, it is often observed that individuals with low self-esteem are more vulnerable to becoming victims. Additionally, some abusers may unknowingly target individuals with low self-esteem. This article aims to shed light on the relationship between domestic abuse, narcissism, and self-esteem. It emphasizes the need for healthier communication and understanding. Understanding Narcissism: Narcissism is often misunderstood, with many associating it solely with self-centeredness and a lack of empathy. However, true narcissism…
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The Power of Our Words
Words are not merely a means of communication. They possess an extraordinary power that can shape our lives and the world around us. From the ancient wisdom of philosophers to the modern understanding of neuro-linguistic programming, the impact of our words has been recognized throughout history. In this blog, we will explore the profound influence our words have on ourselves and others. Also, we will explore how we can harness this power to create positive change. 1. Self-Talk: The Inner Dialogue The words we use in our internal conversations, also known as self-talk, have a profound impact on our self-perception and overall well-being. Positive self-talk can boost confidence, motivation, and…
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Understanding the Spectrum of Anger and How to Resolve It
Anger is a complex emotion that manifests in various forms, each with its unique characteristics and underlying causes. By understanding the different types of anger, we can gain insights into our own emotional responses and develop healthier coping mechanisms. In this blog, we will explore five common types of anger and their implications. Passive Anger Passive anger is characterized by indirect expressions of anger, such as sarcasm, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive behavior. Individuals experiencing passive anger may struggle to express their emotions openly, leading to resentment and frustration. This type of anger often stems from a fear of confrontation or a desire to avoid conflict. Recognizing passive anger is crucial,…
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Assertive Communication: 5 CLEAR Truths to Express Yourself with Confidence
Assertive communication is a powerful tool that allows individuals to express their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear and respectful manner. By using “I” statements instead of blaming language, assertive communication promotes healthy relationships, helps avoid conflicts, and enables individuals to set boundaries effectively. Not everyone knows how, or has the confidence, to begin using assertive communication. Using the acronym CLEAR, I have identified 5 truths than can help you gain confidence and understanding that can lead to healthier communication. Clarity through “I” Statements: Assertive communication emphasizes expressing oneself using “I” statements rather than using accusatory language with the word “you.” For instance, instead of saying, “You never listen to…
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Overcoming People-Pleasing Rooted in Mother-Daughter Relationships
Dear women, Do you find yourself constantly trying to please others (people-pleasing), even at the expense of your own happiness? Do you struggle with self-esteem and the idea of perfectionism? If so, you may have been impacted by the coldness and conditional love behaviors of your own mother. It is not uncommon for women to develop people-pleasing tendencies as a result of their upbringing. When a mother’s love is conditional, it can lead to a child feeling like they need to constantly earn love and approval. This can manifest in adulthood as a need to please others, even if it means sacrificing one’s own needs and desires. But the good…
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An Introduction to Basic Communication: Why Assertiveness is Key
Communication is an essential part of our daily lives. It is how we express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to others. However, not all is created equal. There are three main types of communication: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Each type has its own unique characteristics and can have a significant impact on our relationships with others. Passive Communication Passive communication is when a person does not say what they need or how they feel. Passive communicators are usually afraid of conflict and avoid confrontation at all costs. People who communicate passively often end up isolating themselves, withdrawing from others, and internalizing their feelings. This can lead to feelings of resentment,…
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Good Teachers Have Scary Thoughts
It was my first (and only) year teaching. Though my background was in mental health, I thought I would try my hand at education. Sure, it was an incredible learning curve to be a teacher, but, all things considered, I did pretty well. My classroom was one of clear and high expectations, kindness, creativity, mutual respect, and learning. I had great reviews from administration, fantastic results on evaluations, and my supervisors were encouraging me to continue the teaching path. But good teachers can have scary thoughts. What I would never let anyone know was that, while on the outside I seemed to have a pretty well-put together classroom, on the…
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5 Key Points for Reduced Conflict in Communication:
PICASWhether we are communicating to a partner, friend, or family member, we are going to have moments where we are triggered. When those triggers turn into anger, they can cause serious problems in our relationships. Sometimes people shut down when they are angry, in fear that they will say the wrong thing and push their partner or loved one away. Sometimes they act out in anger. This can look obvious like yelling, blaming, and belittling. Or it can be subtle, such as closing doors a little harder than usual, stomping rather than walking, or just showing slightly more aggression in body language. Unfortunately, anger in some relationships can result in…
