How to Live a Regret Free Life
I am going to assume most of us want to leave this world with no regrets. Yet, regret is a common emotion we all experience. Regret leaves you feeling disappointment over a missed opportunity or sadness over something you said, did, or didn’t do.
But what would it be like to get to the end of your life with no regrets? To spend your final moments feeling at peace about the life you lived and the choices you made.
The truth is none of us are getting out of here alive. Which begs the question, “How can we live a regret free life?”
Living a Regret Free Life
One way to do this is by understanding the regrets of those who are dying. Bronnie Ware, a home hospice caregiver, wrote The Top Five Regrets of the Dying detailing her experience with people who were in their final days. Through conversations, she identified 5 regrets that seemed to come up over and over.
Here are my thoughts as a therapist and human being on each one of them.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
It’s easy to get caught up in living a life based on others’ expectations. We each get one life. Other people get theirs; you get yours.
Get clear on whose expectations you are living your life based off of.
Are they your parents? Your spouse? Children? People in your community? Church? People you see on social media? And why are they important?
What about the expectations you have of yourself? Are they realistic? Kind? Compassionate?
To live life true to yourself, you first need to know who you are. So who are you? Get clear on that. And find the courage to live your life, not someone else’s expectation of what your life should be.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
No amount of work can ever take back time missed.
Get clear on who and what’s important to you so that you can set boundaries when needed.
Develop passions and hobbies, have experiences. Yes, work is a big part of many of our lives. But you don’t want to miss living because of it.
As a single parent/sole income earner for my child’s 14 years of existence it’s been a tough battle to balance this. And I’ve not always been great at it.
But I have to remind myself that even if I love the work I do, if I don’t have a relationship with my child and the other people I love, then is it really worth it?
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
This regret is what I see individuals struggle with the most. It’s hard to know how to communicate your feelings if you’ve never been taught. Or maybe you’ve been taught to express them in unhealthy ways.
If you can learn to be courageous in sharing your feelings in a healthy way, especially to the most important people in your life, then I believe you can walk away with no regrets.
It’s not your responsibility on how others respond to your truth, but it is your responsibility to share it.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
No one wants to be alone. Loneliness sucks. And friendships don’t just happen. They take time, experience, and reciprocity.Some people believe that friendships aren’t important. I encourage you to not get to the point that you have no friends to figure out how important they are. Be intentional about investing in your relationships. And push yourself to build new ones.It may not be easy. It may be scary. But friendships are priceless. Treat them that way.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
We get to choose each day how we view ourselves and the world.
Yes, depression is a real thing. Mood disorders are a real thing. Anxiety is a real thing.
In life we may not always get to choose what happens to us, but we can choose how we respond.
No matter what you’re going through, you always have a choice…. even if that choice is to get the help you need to live more fully.
We all deserve happiness. Life is too short to be miserable.
Start Living a Life Without Regret
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to make it to the end of my life and regret how I lived it.
I challenge you today to ask yourself, “If I died today, would I have any regrets?” And if some regrets come to mind, then I want you to ask yourself, “What’s one thing I can do today for that to no longer be something I would regret?”
Don’t delay.
Be intentional today.
Life is a gift. How will you live it?
Bronnie Ware
Bronnie Ware spent several years caring for dying people in their homes. Her full-length memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, shares further wisdom from dying people and how Bronnie’s own life was transformed through this learning. It is available worldwide with translations in 32 languages. http://bronnieware.com/regrets-of-the-dying. Please also note it is Bronnie not Bonnie.
About the Author:
Christy Pennison, LPC-S, specializes in working with individuals of all ages who struggle with a variety of life’s challenges. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
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