Thousands of years ago, the Buddhist Zen Master Yunmen was asked, “What is enlightenment?”.  Yunmen’s reply was simple:  “An appropriate response.” Seems easy enough, right?  How does a couple live an enlightened relationship?  Is it possible that if we simply have an appropriate response, that all of our arguments and relational angst will wash away?   Maybe.  If you’re like me, though, you might be taking note that you are only nominally familiar with Zen Buddhist teachings, though they seem peaceful and wonderful.  And you certainly are feeling a little far from enlightened, and definitely a little less than polished when it comes to finding the appropriate response. What is an…