Do We Actually Know How to Be Bored Anymore?

Think briefly about the small mundane moments of your day-to-day schedule. You are sitting in the waiting room of an office, waiting in line at a restaurant, stopped in traffic, or simply unsure about what to do next. What do you do?

The instinct is unconscious. I am tempted to grab my phone. I need to fill the space, make the time go by faster, or escape the quiet. I am bored.

But what is boredom? Why is it so hard? And further still, is boredom a problem to be solved, or an opportunity for which we are made, that we as a culture no longer appreciate? How can we learn to be bored?

Boredom vs. Leisure: What Is Healthy Boredom?

Before questioning boredom, one must first distinguish idleness from leisure. True leisure, according to Josef Pieper, is not simply the absence of work. It is an attitude that allows us to encounter truth, ourselves, and reality as they are. It is an attitude of being, not of doing.

In a spirit contrary to our Western society, the great philosopher Aristotle argued that human beings do not rest or pursue leisure so that they can work. They work so that they can truly have leisure.

However, this leisure differs from idleness. It is not simply having nothing to do. We can have absolutely nothing to do while keeping ourselves busy and distracted. Conversely, we can have long lists of tasks and responsibilities, yet experience moments of boredom within healthy leisure, at peace with ourselves.

While activities such as reading, playing games, and watching movies can be great ways to live out healthy leisure, simply “not working” is not enough. It is the attitude or perspective we carry that underlies healthy boredom.

The Benefits of Boredom

Boredom fosters creativity, encourages imagination, and gives us space to wonder. It allows us to think, ask deep questions, and encounter those around us. But why are we so bad at it?

Why Do We Hate Being Bored?

If leisure is an attitude of being, and not doing, then why is being bored so hard? Why do we hate it so much? I think the problem is that we have allowed ourselves to become trained to escape. We have found ways to fill our time by doing, not being. Sitting with our own thoughts is hard.

Life comes with many uncertainties, anxieties, sufferings, and questions. If I sit in silence long enough, the dust settles and those worries can rise to the top. Why would I want to sit with my own thoughts or emotions if, in the short term, there are more pleasurable ways to spend my time? Activities like streaming content, social media, and other things become the way we regulate our discomfort, anxiety, or loneliness. But it doesn’t help us heal.

The issue isn’t Netflix or the phone itself, but our capacity to sit with ourselves and be present to our thoughts, desires, and emotions. Herein lie a few important questions. What is my time for and how do I want to use it? If authentic leisure and healthy boredom are an attitude of openness to being, then what am I made to be?

Boredom, Love, and Relationships

I love stories. I believe stories are extremely powerful. From ancient civilizations, human beings have used stories to pass down history and culture, teach vital lessons, and connect with each other. No matter the genre, the heart of every story is love and relationship.

The ancient tale of Odysseus from Homer’s The Odyssey? A man’s quest to return home to his family. The Harry Potter series? A story of good versus evil, built upon the sacrifice of parents for the sake of their child. J.R.R. Tolkien’s legendary The Lord of the Rings? A perilous quest of self-sacrifice for the sake of a world to which two hobbits may never return.

Human beings at our core are hardwired for relationships, and understanding who we are in the midst of our relationships, in the midst of our own story, brings a peace and hope for the life we live and the story we hope to write.

Making Space to Wonder and Connect

Walt Whitman’s poem, “O Me! O Life!”, made more famous by The Dead Poets Society, so beautifully illuminates this hope. Amid the pain, struggles, and emptiness of life,

The question, O me! so sad, recurring—What good amid these, O me, O life?
Answer.
That you are here—that life exists and identity,
That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.

How to Learn to Be Bored Again

I am not here to get on my soapbox and yell, ‘Put your phone down! It’s bad for you.”

I am here to ask you:

• What would it look like to recover healthy boredom?
• What would it look like to give yourself the space to wonder, imagine, and encounter?
• Can you leave your phone behind when you go for a walk?
• Sit in silence while on a drive?
• Ask the person next to you in the waiting room how their day is going, while your phone stays in your pocket?

The next time you find yourself bored, tempted to start the next show or pull out your phone, I want you to ponder how you can see boredom, not as a broken thing that needs fixing, but as an opportunity to simply be.

What kind of person can you become if you allow yourself to experience the next moment of boredom?

Frequently Asked Questions About Boredom

Is boredom good for you?

Boredom can be uncomfortable, but periods without constant stimulation may create opportunities for reflection, imagination, creativity, and greater awareness of our thoughts and emotions. Healthy boredom is less about having nothing to do and more about allowing ourselves space to simply be.

Why is it so hard to be bored?

Phones, social media, streaming, and other forms of entertainment make stimulation almost constantly available. Reaching for distraction can become an automatic response when we experience quiet, uncertainty, loneliness, or uncomfortable thoughts and emotions.

What are some benefits of boredom?

Boredom can create space for creativity, imagination, reflection, curiosity, connection, and self-awareness. It may also give us an opportunity to notice thoughts and emotions that are easier to avoid when we stay constantly occupied.

How can I learn to be bored again?

Start with small moments. Take a walk without your phone, spend part of a drive without music or a podcast, wait a few minutes before reaching for your phone, or allow yourself to sit quietly without immediately finding something to do. The goal is not to eliminate entertainment, but to become more comfortable with moments of stillness.

Is boredom the same as doing nothing?

Not necessarily. Doing nothing can still involve distraction or mental busyness. Healthy boredom and leisure involve creating space to be present, reflect, wonder, and engage with ourselves and the people around us.

About the Author