Managing New Years Resolutions
For many, this time of year is filled with laughter, conversations, and the sounds of glasses clinking as we ring in another year. As people gather around the diner table, for fireworks, or other celebrations, they begin reminiscing about the year that’s ending and the new year that’s beginning. Many people even begin to share their plans and goals or their “New Year’s resolutions”.
Many of us have engaged in some version of the New Year’s gathering that has probably led to the topic of New Year’s resolutions. If you made a new year’s resolution at the end of 2022, think back to those resolutions. Hold them in your mind over the next few minutes as you read.
Now that you have had time to reflect, ask yourself: Did you achieve those New Year’s Resolutions? The answer is most often, “kind of”. It is very easy for us to get caught up in the hype of setting New Year’s Resolutions. There are things we want to change in our lives and think that January 1st is the best time to do that. Maybe we want to eat better, lose weight, read more, fill in the blank with a new year’s resolution you have set at some point. This leads up to us setting resolutions with the intention to change and be successful. However, they don’t always work out and we set ourselves up for New Year’s disappointments. This year, I want to help you avoid the “New Years Disappointments” and achieve your resolutions.
Manage our Expectations
To avoid the disappointments that come from not fully meeting New Year’s resolutions, we need to manage our expectations. It is quite easy to get caught up in the excitement of starting a New Year and set lofty goals. The difficulty with establishing these goals is not the loftiness, but the vagueness of the resolution. It is easy to say I want to lose fifty pounds next year. While that may be a good goal to set, it is vague and leaves too much room for interpretation. It doesn’t tell you how you will do it.
When we manage expectations, we need to be specific and work to make sure things are broken into steps. Losing fifty pounds for the new year is realistic if we set the proper timeline. We must be able to break our goals down into measurable and realistic steps. It may not be realistic for most of us to expect to lose fifty pounds by the beginning of March. We need to break it down into the small steps it takes to reach the goal. For example, maybe we need to change some of our diet. We have to be careful not to change everything at once. If we do, we become overwhelmed and revert. So, managing expectations is very important.
Break Down Your Resolutions
First, we want to make sure to break down our resolutions into small, measurable pieces. When we are working on big changes, it takes small steps. If we are changing our eating habits, we must consistently make healthy choices. We can measure and keep track of our choices by using a paper calendar. We mark down each day we engage in new eating habits. This allows us to see that we are doing it. It is a much better metric than looking at the scale – progress won’t be as easy to see.
Practice Self-Compassion
Second, practicing self-compassion goes a long way. It helps us to avoid disappointments. It allows us to be kind towards ourselves and acknowledge that some days are going to be harder than others. Self-compassion allows us to challenge our negative thoughts towards ourselves. For example, if we eat a bowl of ice cream instead of blueberries. It helps us to recognize that we are not looking for perfection but growth.
Build Accountability Systems
Third, building accountability systems holds equal weight. We are more likely to follow through if we have an external accountability system. It allows us to be challenged. Having someone to be accountable to also prevents us from being able to engage in rationalization with ourselves. It stops us from changing the rules in the middle of the game. Having someone in your circle with similar goals can go a long way in helping us to meet our resolutions. They can encourage us, make the journey with us, and challenge us.
Focus on one thing at a time
Lastly, we want to focus on one thing at a time. When we focus on one task or goal at a time, we are better able to accomplish that task or goal. This is because our cognitive load is not split between multiple tasks or goals. If we try to make too many changes at once, we can become easily overwhelmed. When we become overwhelmed, we tend to stop working on the task or goal. If the overall goal is to lose weight, then we can look at our diet for possible changes. But we don’t want to change our entire diet at one time. It can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and a feeling of being overwhelmed.
We become overwhelmed and revert back to our previous eating habits. For example: “I really want the chips and salsa, I should have the salad, but I had four salads in three days. I’m getting the chips and salsa.” So, to reduce stress and possibility of disappointment we want to focus on one thing at a time. Focusing on changing one meal at a time and then expanding to more meals helps to focus on one aspect of the overall resolution without being overwhelmed.
Of course, there are many other strategies to manage expectations. There are also strategies for managing life changes related to New Year’s resolutions. If you would like to explore those strategies or your resolutions, I would love the opportunity to walk alongside you. Or, if you would like to work on other life stressors, I’m here for you. Feel free to reach out to Be Inspired Counseling and Consulting. We can pair you with the right therapist to walk alongside you on your journey to mental wellbeing.
About the Author:
James Harrison, LPC, specializes in working with individuals of all ages who struggle with a variety of life’s challenges. He works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
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