-
Overcoming People-Pleasing Rooted in Mother-Daughter Relationships
Dear women, Do you find yourself constantly trying to please others (people-pleasing), even at the expense of your own happiness? Do you struggle with self-esteem and the idea of perfectionism? If so, you may have been impacted by the coldness and conditional love behaviors of your own mother. It is not uncommon for women to develop people-pleasing tendencies as a result of their upbringing. When a mother’s love is conditional, it can lead to a child feeling like they need to constantly earn love and approval. This can manifest in adulthood as a need to please others, even if it means sacrificing one’s own needs and desires. But the good…
-
An Introduction to Basic Communication: Why Assertiveness is Key
Communication is an essential part of our daily lives. It is how we express our thoughts, feelings, and ideas to others. However, not all is created equal. There are three main types of communication: passive, aggressive, and assertive. Each type has its own unique characteristics and can have a significant impact on our relationships with others. Passive Communication Passive communication is when a person does not say what they need or how they feel. Passive communicators are usually afraid of conflict and avoid confrontation at all costs. People who communicate passively often end up isolating themselves, withdrawing from others, and internalizing their feelings. This can lead to feelings of resentment,…
-
Good Teachers Have Scary Thoughts
It was my first (and only) year teaching. Though my background was in mental health, I thought I would try my hand at education. Sure, it was an incredible learning curve to be a teacher, but, all things considered, I did pretty well. My classroom was one of clear and high expectations, kindness, creativity, mutual respect, and learning. I had great reviews from administration, fantastic results on evaluations, and my supervisors were encouraging me to continue the teaching path. But good teachers can have scary thoughts. What I would never let anyone know was that, while on the outside I seemed to have a pretty well-put together classroom, on the…
-
5 Key Points for Reduced Conflict in Communication:
PICASWhether we are communicating to a partner, friend, or family member, we are going to have moments where we are triggered. When those triggers turn into anger, they can cause serious problems in our relationships. Sometimes people shut down when they are angry, in fear that they will say the wrong thing and push their partner or loved one away. Sometimes they act out in anger. This can look obvious like yelling, blaming, and belittling. Or it can be subtle, such as closing doors a little harder than usual, stomping rather than walking, or just showing slightly more aggression in body language. Unfortunately, anger in some relationships can result in…
-
How to Become a Better Listener
Do you want to become a good listener? Have you ever had a conversation with someone who didn’t hear a word you said? How did you feel afterwards? I’m going to guess it didn’t feel great. We all have experienced times in our lives where we have not felt heard or understood. In order to understand each other, we must learn to be able to listen. As a counselor, countless individuals have sat in front of me, whether it be a husband, wife, friend, parent, or child, and say, “They don’t listen to me.” In fact, this may be one of the most common complaints I hear. Lack of listening…
