4 Reasons to Seek Couples Therapy
Relationships are hard work. This is often easy to forget in the beginning when the relationship is fresh and new. So often we become involved with others and think that because we love them, that is enough to conquer all. Love is amazing and it is wonderful to be in love with another person. We often forget that relationships live on more than love.
We need communication, connection, compassion, forgiveness, and love to make a relationship work. It usually isn’t until we start struggling in our relationship that we realize this. It can be very difficult to accept when our relationship may be unhealthy. This is even more true in marriages and other close intimate relationships.
So often, when problems start, we try and fix it on our own. This may be the case for you, but you haven’t been able to make things better. So how do we know when to reach out for help and why we should seek out that help? There so many signs that a relationship may be in distress. I will go over four of the most common ones that I see in couples therapy.
1) Lack of or Poor Communication
Communication is one of the most important things in any relationship. How we communicate with each other can affect the quality of our relationships in many ways. When couples struggle with communicating in an open and clear way, misunderstandings occur. It is easy to forget that our partner doesn’t always know what we want and need from them. We say things to each other expecting that the other person understands. If our partner doesn’t understand, then we can become frustrated. Poor communication can lead to so many different problems in a relationship. Couples therapy is a great way to learn how to communicate with our partner in a healthy way.
2) Frustration
A direct result of poor communication is frustration. When we don’t understand our partner, we get frustrated. Frustration is not always a sign that couples therapy is necessary. It becomes a problem for the relationship when that frustration isn’t managed in a healthy way. Most frustrations with our partner occur because of hurt feelings. Misunderstandings also cause frustration as well. As frustration builds, it becomes harder to express our feelings. If this sounds familiar to you, couples therapy could help. The more frustrated we become, the more likely it is that disconnection occurs.
3) Feeling Disconnected
Every relationship goes through phases. Feeling disconnected from our partner can be normal. This is when we don’t feel like we are on the same page as our partner. Sometimes it is hard to describe these feelings. Disconnection is often caused by not being mindful of our need for connection. We stop spending time together. We stop talking about our wants and needs with our partner. We get so caught up in life that we take for granted that our relationships are important too.
If we stay disconnected for too long, feelings of loneliness, sadness, and even anger begin to develop. It is not that we want to feel disconnected, we just don’t know what to do about it. This is when we start blaming our partner for not meeting our needs which leads to conflict. The disconnection can make it hard to even want to stay in the relationship. Couples therapy can help.
4) Frequent Fighting
When we don’t communicate, feel frustrated, and feel disconnected, arguments begin. Anyone who has ever been in a relationship can tell you that fighting is normal and even healthy. If you fight with respect and fairness, arguing can be very healthy in solving problems. Fighting is not okay when you become disrespectful, hurtful, and seek to harm your partner. This may look like name-calling, shutting down, breaking things, and becoming violent. Seeking help from a professional if you or your partner are unable to manage their anger is so important. Couples therapy can help you and your partner learn how to resolve conflict and stay safe.
Consider Couples Therapy
Relationships are hard. There are so many things that could come between you and your partner. If you believe that couples therapy is something you need, seek help. We at Be Inspired Counseling and Consulting are here to help. Please call our office, email, or visit our website below for more information and to schedule an appointment.
Elizabeth Beebe, LPC-S, provides couples counseling to couples struggling in their relationship. She enjoys helping couples navigate the challenges that come their way so that they can find their way forward in their relationship.
Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting provides in-person counseling in Alexandria, Louisiana, and online counseling to individuals throughout the state of Louisiana. Our team of compassionate clinicians are here to help!
