3 Ways to Feel Happier This Year
When I was younger I used to believe happiness was a byproduct of a perfect set of ideal conditions. Somehow if I met and married the right person, had a beautiful, big house, found the right job, and had 3 children and a dog then happiness would surely follow. If you’ve walked the earth long enough, you’ve probably come to realize life is no fairytale. The perfect set of conditions does not exist. My life never arrived at what I perceived would equal happiness. Yet, along the way I have learned what happier people tend to do more than those who feel happiness is like a long lost relative. And while I can’t go over all the ways you can feel happier this year, I will go over 3 (spoiler alert: they have little to do with external conditions).
Learn to Love Yourself
One way to feel happier this year is to learn to love yourself. Now, this may seem “woo-woo” or corny, but hear me out. After working with individuals through counseling over a decade, I have discovered unhappiness often comes from conflict within. This conflict with self often comes from a person’s negative core beliefs about themselves or the world around them. For example, they may have a self belief of, “I’m not good enough,” or, “The world is bad.” When you believe something negative about yourself or the world around you, it affects EVERYTHING you do. Learning to love yourself requires you appreciating yourself for the unique individual you are, forgiving yourself for the past you cannot change, and moving forward to grow into the person you want to become.
Practice Positive Self-Talk
It’s getting clear on what your values are and living a life aligned with those values. It’s also talking to yourself in a more healthy and positive manner. Loving yourself doesn’t mean lying to yourself, but it does mean you find ways to know, value, appreciate, and be kind to yourself.
Find Your Purpose in Life
Another way to feel happier this year is to find meaning in what you do. When I was in high school, there was a book released that seemed to become a bestseller almost overnight. The book was “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. I think it’s popularity was because we all want to feel like our life has purpose.
When people feel their life lacks meaning or purpose then the day to day living becomes challenging. A few ways to find meaning is to ask yourself, “How is what I’m doing now meaningful to me?” And, to take a step further, “How is this meaningful to someone else?” What you do matters, whether you think it does or not. Finding the “why” behind what you do every day and the “who” it gives value to can bring fulfillment and satisfaction.
Seek Out Quality Relationships
Someone once told me, “The quality of your life is directly influenced by the quality of your relationships.” It wasn’t until I started recognizing this in my own life and the lives of those around me that I realized how true this statement is. Our relationships greatly impact our mood and feelings (for the good and bad). Those who invest in their relationships and establish boundaries in those relationships tend to be happier.
We are relational beings and thrive in supportive, healthy relationships and community. Unfortunately, we didn’t have classes in school to teach us how to build and develop healthy relationships. Our family system growing up was the model and teacher on how relationships should be. For many, these role models didn’t always demonstrate healthy ways to grow and maintain relationships. Which is why we have to learn how to.
If you find yourself in a state of conflict or frustration in your relationships, I encourage you to explore and identify why. Relationships take time, effort, communication, self-awareness, and understanding. Just like you have to learn ways to love yourself, sometimes you need to learn how to love others or teach others how to love you (boundaries).
Everyone Can Experience Happiness Now
Life can be different this year. Happiness isn’t an emotion reserved for a select few. You can experience happiness too. Happiness won’t come when you have a certain set of external things or accomplishments. Instead, it is more likely to show up when you find peace and gratitude within, meaning and purpose in what you are doing, and love and support in relationships you have. May all the happiness be yours this year!
Want to Work Towards Being Happier?
If you want to feel happier this year, but lack certainty of what and how to change, talking to a counselor can help. Christy Pennison is a licensed professional counselor and founder of Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting. Their team of caring therapists would be honored to support you in overcoming your mental health concerns and helping you to live life to the fullest. They offer in-person support at their Alexandria and Natchitoches offices. They also offer online therapy for individuals throughout Louisiana. To find out more about the services they offer, you can visit their website at beinspiredcc.com or call 318-266-7021.
About the Author:
Christy Pennison, LPC-S, specializes in working with individuals of all ages who struggle with mood. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
Other Services Offered at Be Inspired:
Adult counseling isn’t the only service provided at our Alexandria, LA and Natchitoches, LA locations. We also offer online therapy, trauma therapy, and anxiety treatment. In addition, we also offer couples counseling and teen counseling. Feel free to visit our consulting services, FAQ, or blog pages for helpful info!
