Surviving Grief During The Holidays
Holidays can be hard. Especially, if someone you love is no longer here. Grief is a complex
emotion with no clear indicators of how and when and in what intensity it will show up and be
felt. During the holidays, grief can come in waves or in a persistent downpour. Despite how it
chooses to show up, here are a few suggestions on how to survive the grief you may feel this
holiday season.
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Acknowledging how you feel helps you heal, especially when you are grieving. Avoiding painful
emotions because they are uncomfortable and unsettling is something we all try to do from time
to time. The holes left from a loved one who died cannot be ignored. When emotions take
over, allow yourself time to feel and move through them. You can’t hide from grief (even if you
want to). Acknowledging the pain, even if you are not ready to accept it, can go a long way in
helping you find your way through.
Be Easy On Yourself
Give yourself space to grieve. If this is your first holiday season without your loved one, give
yourself grace and realistic expectations. You may not feel like, should, or be able to do all the
things you previously did for the holidays. And that’s okay! Remember, during this season it’s
important to do what feels right for you, not what others expect from you, or what you used to
expect from yourself. This time will be different. Try not to compare.
Connect With Others
Surround yourself with people who love and support you. It is normal to want to pull away and
isolate yourself from friends and family who are still here. Watching others celebrate can be
painful. But, don’t try to cancel the whole holiday. You may want to avoid uncomfortable
situations and you are perfectly okay to do so. No one expects a person with a broken leg to
run a marathon. Neither should they expect you to pick yourself up like part of your world isn’t
here anymore. Just try not to pull away completely. If you have others in your corner wanting to
support you, let them. The burden of grief is hard to carry alone. Ask for help if you need it. Tell
others what you need and how they can help. Sometimes people don’t know how to help when
someone is grieving, but letting them know what they can do to support you can help you and
them.
Share Your Memories
Honor the memories you have of your loved one during this season by talking about them with
others. Sharing the memories you have allows you to express, in many ways, why it is hard for
you this holiday season. Time is something none of us can get back after it’s gone. Yet, I have
found when you are able to share memories in the midst of your grief that’s where healing can
begin. Some find it helpful to create a new tradition to honor their loved one. This could be
something like lighting a candle in honor of them, eating their favorite dish, or doing something
they loved.
Honor Your Loved One
I remember as a little girl my grandmother used to play the accordion every holiday season. All
my cousins would gather around and sing Christmas songs while my grandmother and aunt
would play and sing. It’s one of my most cherished memories. When my grandmother died,
even though I was a child, it was comforting to me when my aunt still played on occasion. It
wasn’t the same, but it was still a way to honor her in a way that was meaningful.
Help Others
Another way to get through this time is to do something for others if you are feeling stuck in your
grief. Giving in service to others can help you regain a sense of purpose when you may feel
hopeless or lost. Helping someone else in their suffering can also help you in the midst of yours.
Sometimes taking a break from your grief is good. It doesn’t mean you are ignoring it. Instead,
you are letting yourself focus on someone or something else, even if it’s for a moment.
Don’t Neglect Your Needs
Make sure to take care of yourself. It’s easy to neglect yourself when you are in the midst of a
whirlwind of emotions, but establishing a routine, prioritizing sleep, and making time for daily
movement can move you forward. It may not feel like it, but I’m guessing there is still someone
here who needs you. Do what you can to take care of you so you can be here for them.
How To Help Others Grieving
If you are not grieving this holiday season, remember to be kind to those who are. We will all
experience grief at some point during our lifetime. It’s hard to know what it feels like if you’ve
never experienced it. Just know you can’t fix it or take away someone’s pain, but you can sit
with them in it. And if you don’t know what to say, be present. Believe me, people will remember
you being there in their pain, even if you said or did nothing. And when in doubt, ask. Don’t give
advice or tell them how they should or shouldn’t feel. Ask what you can do, if anything, to
support them during this difficult time. It will go a long way.
Take One Step At A Time
Surviving grief doesn’t mean it will go away. It means you are focusing on putting one foot in
front of the other. This holiday season I want to encourage you to keep taking the next step.
Healing takes time. Figuring out how to live life without someone you love takes courage. Don’t
give up.
Ready To Start Grief Counseling?
You deserve support in finding your way through your grief issues. Our caring therapists would be honored to support you in overcoming your mental health concerns and helping you to live life to the fullest. We offer in-person support at our Alexandria, LA-based practice, our Natchitoches, LA-based practice, and throughout the state with online therapy. If you are ready to start your counseling journey, please follow these steps:
- Contact us to schedule your first appointment, or call us at 318-266-7021
- Meet with a caring therapist
- Start receiving support to live your best life
About The Author:
Christy Pennison, LPC-S, specializes in working with individuals of all ages who struggle with loss and grief. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with grief find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
Other Services Offered At Be Inspired:
Grief counseling isn’t the only service provided at our Alexandria, LA and Natchitoches, LA locations. We also offer online therapy, trauma therapy, and anxiety treatment. In addition, we also offer couples counseling and teen counseling. Feel free to visit our consulting services, FAQ, or blog pages for helpful info!
