Marathons and Mental Health Part 2: Check the Terrain
In Part 1 of this series, we took a look at the transient nature of life’s challenges–that’s a fancy way of saying that if things feel rough and you want to quit, just hang on, because it will likely get better. We found some tips and tricks to help us navigate those challenges when they’re happening, such as remembering our self-care strategies, taking moments to stop and breathe, keeping the bigger perspective that challenges do pass, and perhaps more importantly, that they create fertile ground for personal growth. I felt as though the last trick up our sleeve deserved a little more attention, though, and that is this:
Look down and check the terrain.
Profound, right? Well…..not so much. It’s actually very logical and very rational. And yet, we miss this one all the time.
It’s funny how one moment in a race, I find myself going down a black hole of thoughts, all centered around, This is hard, I want to quit, I’ll never be able to do this; and only a mile later, I’m having such exuberant thoughts as, I love this, I am so one with nature, when can I sign up for my next race?
What happened within that one mile that life had a completely different outlook for me? My training is the same, my internal fitness is the same, and in the grand scheme of a 50 mile race for example, what difference did one mile really make to give me a complete attitude change?
My trail running friends out there have already guessed it: hills.
At the very moment I was ready to throw in the towel on running, my goals, and life in general (yes, it can feel that big in the moment), if I just look down, I’ll usually notice that I happened to be running up a hill. At the moment that I feel like I could accomplish anything in running, in parenting, in my career (yes, again, it can feel that big in the moment), oddly enough, it turns out that when I look down I discover that I’m running a downhill.
In that short time, a few things happened physiologically that had a major impact on my mental state. The uphill terrain created a need for more effort and more output. I started breathing harder to keep up with the effort, in particular in and out of my mouth, which sent a signal to my brain (through the stress hormone cortisol) that gets my body in gear to fight a good fight. The longer I stay there, though, this same very helpful hormone (some stress can be good stress) becomes problematic as it starts sending the signal to my brain that something is wrong and it’s time to panic. It is then that panicky, I’m-ready-to-quit thoughts begin to flood my brain. As soon as I reach the top of that hill and begin my descent, my breathing slows and I can relax into breathing in and out of my nose, sending the signal to my brain that everything is a-okay, and that in fact, I’m relaxed enough that I could conquer the world.
Lauren, how did you not notice you were going uphill?
Great question. It’s funny how you can get so completely immersed in the rhythm of your run that you actually become totally unaware of what you’re running on, before all of a sudden you notice how terrible you feel and how much you want to quit.But isn’t life the same? Isn’t it all too easy to get immersed in a rhythm of work and life and parenting and study and relationships and insert anything here that all of a sudden we find ourselves down a black hole of thoughts and want to quit?
It’s time to look down and check the terrain.
Just like internal fitness and training count for a lot on a run, but don’t always account for the challenge of a good uphill; our internal resilience may only take us so far before we have to stop and consider what the “uphills” in our life are.
I’ve met numerous people who thought something was really wrong with them–it must be an internal flaw that they feel depressed or anxious. And while, sure, I am a therapist and would advocate all day long for bringing healing to our hurt places, and building up (tapping into?) our internal resilience. But let’s be honest and check the terrain. It’s hard being a new parent and working full time while trying to get decent sleep. It’s hard to feel happy and content if you have a partner who is emotionally abusive and gaslights you. It’s hard to set goals and achieve them when your ailing mother-in-law isn’t doing so well. It’s hard to foster emotional and physical connection with your partner when your work environment is high stress. It’s hard, Ladies, to feel like a human being the week before your cycle when your hormones are chaotic.
There’s nothing wrong with you. You may want to give up and write off yourself and every other person on the planet. But check the terrain. Maybe this is a stressful season of life, and you’ll soon be experiencing that invigorating downhill. Or maybe the terrain isn’t right for you, and your internal resilience is better suited to a different path. Or maybe the uphill just means that it’s time to slow down. You’ll reach the top of the hill when you reach it–have some grace for yourself in the meantime and keep moving.
About the Author:
Lauren Callahan provides individual and couples therapy to adults and teens. She utilizes a holistic perspective in helping individuals through the struggles they face. If you are struggling with knowing how to help your teen navigate overwhelming emotions or struggle yourself, request an appointment with Lauren today: https://beinspiredcc.clientsecure.me/.
Other Services Offered at Be Inspired:
Individual therapy isn’t the only service provided at our Alexandria, LA and Natchitoches, LA locations. We also offer online therapy, trauma therapy, grief counseling, and anxiety treatment. In addition, we also offer child counseling and teen counseling. Feel free to visit our consulting services, FAQ, or blog pages for helpful info!
