Handling Holiday Family Drama: Tips for Reducing Stress
Navigate holiday family conflicts with ease. Learn to identify issues, use practical tips, and positive strategies for peaceful, harmonious gatherings.
As the holiday season gets closer, we usually think of joy and cheer, however, unavoidable family conflict can also come along with this. It can be a time of stress for many families. We all dream of having a holiday where we can relax with our family members, but festive-time drama is very common in American homes. Whether it’s an argument every year, existing problems, or just overnight visits from family members, all these things can lead to increased anxiety during the holiday season. Being able to handle these tensions will ensure that everyone has fun celebrating together but may also prove to be a tricky task! Hopefully this will provide you with information so you can benefit from peaceful family times over the holidays.
Understanding Why Holiday Conflict Happens
The holiday season is usually thought of as one of the best times for families to come together and share in each other’s joy, festive cheer, and family unity, but it can also be an extremely stressful time for a lot of families. Conflict tends to arise due to people having different ideas or backgrounds. Even though we tend to think conflict is unavoidable during this season, there are still ways you can recognize family issues before they bring on any holiday fights. Understanding why they occur could possibly help us manage them or prevent them entirely.
Often holiday traditions can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Older generations may want a classic holiday tradition with decorations or meals that they are used to while younger generations may want a more modern type of holiday, which causes tension between family members who don’t share the same ideas on how to honor the holiday. Differences in opinion about politics or religion can lead to heated debates. Expectations of how things should be can lead to increased pressure and arguments that can divide family members. Sometimes we may expect our relatives to act differently during the holiday season, which usually results in disappointment and anger when these expectations are not fulfilled. This tends to ruin our “perfect holiday” idea by setting them up for unrealistic perfectionist standards. There is also stress with financial worries, keeping up appearances, preparing meals and decorating, hosting events at home, getting the “perfect” gift, and attending big gatherings where we expect everyone to act flawlessly.
Strategies for More Harmonious Holiday Gatherings
It’s the time of year when holidays come around and family issues begin to emerge. For most of us, this season brings a lot of joy plus appreciation for each other. However, it may also be a source of anxiety and arguments among relatives. How do we manage such festive debates to make sure peace?
Doing things proactively by setting clear boundaries and having open conversations beforehand is key! That way conflicts will not disrupt the festive mood during Christmas (or any other) season. Planning to have discussions ahead of time is one of the most important ways you can work together as a team and stop chaos from taking over during Christmas or other holidays.
It is important to keep in mind that not everyone will have the same opinion about everything. Before everyone gets together, it can be helpful to know what topics are off limits and topics that can trigger another person to avoid potential conflicts. If there’s an explosive issue or topic that could lead to arguments at dinner or during gift exchange, make sure all the adults involved have been informed and agree not to bring it up. Nothing worse than getting into a fight right in front of the children on Christmas! Avoid lashing out in anger and don’t let yourself get too offended or take things too seriously from comments by people you may disagree with. If there is a problem, it is better to focus on facts instead of making passive aggressive or sarcastic remarks that may feel like an attack towards one another. Keeping a cool head and controlling your emotions while having this conversation may be hard, but it is important to understand expectations and the other person’s opinion to avoid conflict. Agreeing upon topics where there is not a hot debate can really help situations out.
Identifying everyone’s individual expectations can also be helpful to avoid conflict. Recognizing what each person wants out of the festivities is key if you want to prevent any arguments from arising in the first place! To avoid any potential misunderstandings or hurt feelings try talking with each person in your family before you meet up this season, so you know where everybody stands on expectations. Questions like “What do you expect out of us spending time together?” might enable everyone to understand what is to be expected and enjoy the gathering between loved ones.
Creating boundaries in advance can be beneficial. This will prevent situations where one person tries to impose their beliefs upon another, use language that can be harmful, or actions that may become intense arguments. If arguments do occur, everyone should take some time out for self-reflection and cool their heads before continuing to speak. This is much more productive than fighting.
Make sure to set aside time for yourself. It’s important that we give ourselves a break, especially when we are stressed out. Everyone should take a turn at having some quiet time throughout the day to recharge mentally and emotionally to be prepared for all activities planned this festive season.
To wrap it up as pretty as the Christmas paper you wrapped your gifts in, family conflict during the holidays can be a big cause of stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, you can’t avoid all arguments and there is no guarantee that drama will not occur, but these are some steps that should help minimize any trouble in your household. Being proactive by setting clear boundaries and having open conversations in advance can be very helpful. Remembering that during holidays there are many strong emotions not only from us but also from people around us. Acknowledging each other’s differences as well as being conscious of our own feelings can help things go more smoothly. Communicate openly with your family about your feelings and share expectations so everyone knows what to expect. Take time for yourself so you can also enjoy things. Lastly, recall why we come together during celebrations: to spend time with loved ones, create new memories, and show appreciation towards our relatives (as well as celebrating and rejoicing in your own spiritual or cultural preference)!
Not sure what to do next? Family has trouble dealing with conflict throughout the holiday season (and the rest of the year)? Having access to resources such as professional counselors might be useful. Professionals may be able to provide a different way of viewing issues or problem solving that you have not thought about before. This may be helpful to learn how the family could work together even though there are differences of opinions and be able to treat each other with respect and love. Check out our website and contact us for more details or book an appointment right away! We look forward to hearing from you and get going on making your future dreams come true!
About the Author:
Jennifer Riche, LPC, specializes in working with children who struggle with a variety of life’s challenges. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
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