Finding a Therapist for Your Child

Finding the right therapist for your child can be challenging.  Especially, when you don’t know where to start or what questions you should be asking.  

I get it!  Before I became a child and adolescent therapist, I wouldn’t have known where to go if I needed to seek help for my own child. It can be confusing. Finding the right therapist for your child can make all the difference in the life of your child and family.  

Below I outline a few common questions parents have related to finding a therapist for their child. 

What’s the difference between mental health professionals (counselor, therapist, LPC, LCSW, PhD)?

There are a lot of different acronyms out there that can be confusing if you aren’t familiar with what they mean.  I wanted to mention a few of them in order to alleviate any anxiety that may come from trying to decipher these titles and credentials. 

Counselor/Therapist:

This title is often used interchangeably in many states. This means a counselor can be a therapist and a therapist can be a counselor.  However, since the title counselor can be used commonly in many occupations and settings, it’s important to distinguish the qualifications of the individual you are considering when making your decision about who your child sees for child therapy. 

Licensed and Board Certified Mental Health Professional:

Below are just a few types of licensed mental health professionals.  What’s important to point out regarding licensed or board-certified professionals is they must adhere to specific standards regarding ethics, conduct, and confidentiality required by their state board.  These individuals have to fulfill certain educational standards, complete many hours of supervision, and participate in continuing education to maintain their license.  

• Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC): LPCs provide mental health care to individuals, families, and groups.  They are mental health service providers who are trained in the treatment and prevention of mental, behavioral, and emotional problems and disorders.

• Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW): LCSWs hold a specialty practice designation in social work. This specialty includes assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of mental illness, emotional, and behavioral disturbances.  They are also mental health service providers who can assist individuals, families, and groups. 

• Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT): LMFTs specialize working with couples and families. They are able to diagnose and treat mental and emotional disorders within the context of marriage, couples, and family systems. 

• Psychologist: A psychologist has specific training based on clinical psychological research into human behavior.  They are able to conduct psychological testing, assessments, and psychotherapy. In addition, medical psychologists are able to prescribe medications to treat mental health conditions.

• Psychiatrist: A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who specializes in diagnosing and treating mental health disorders.  They primarily provide medication management.   

There are many other types of licensed mental health providers not mentioned above such as Licensed Addiction Counselors (LAC) and Registered Play Therapists (RPT) to name a few.  To find out more information regarding each profession, resources can be found by looking up the information on their state board website (i.e. Louisiana Board of Professional Counselors, Louisiana Board of Social Work).  

In addition to licensed professionals, there are also unlicensed mental health providers with varying levels of training and expertise (i.e. peer support specialists, pastoral counselors).  Helpers of all backgrounds and experiences can provide much-needed support by helping you and your child navigate mental, emotional, or behavioral challenges. However, finding out information about an individual’s background, experience, and specialization is important when choosing a mental health provider.

Where do I find a therapist for my child?

It can be hard to know where to look when finding a therapist for your child. Here are several ways to find one.  

Consult with your pediatrician. 

Often times your pediatrician will have some recommendations regarding child and adolescent therapists in your area.  If you are having concerns regarding your child’s emotions or behaviors, it’s helpful to discuss these with your doctor. Many times they can provide a referral or recommendation.

Contact your child’s school guidance counselor. 

It can be helpful to talk with your child’s school guidance counselor, especially if your child is struggling in the school setting. School counselors often have community resource lists and can provide recommendations for therapists outside of the school setting.

Ask a friend or a parent group. 

Asking an individual or group you trust can be helpful in finding a therapist for your child.  If you know a friend who brought their child to a therapist, ask them about their experience. Many times you can find out information firsthand from another parent a therapist they recommend.

Search online.

Sometimes a quick search on google or therapist directories, like Psychology Today, can help you find child and adolescent therapists in your area.  If they have a website, read more about them. And remember you can always call and ask questions. Even if the individual may not be available directly, office staff should be equipped to answer questions concerning a therapist’s background and specialty areas.

What questions should I ask?

Once you’ve done some searching around and you’ve found a few therapists you may want to work with, now what?  Well, it’s often good to contact them and ask a few questions before making an appointment.

Do they work with children?

One of the first things to ask when choosing a therapist for your child is, “Do you specialize in working with children?”  Seems pretty basic, but it’s the first and most important question to ask. Working with a child with anxiety or depressive symptoms is different than working with an adult.  Although many times mental health professionals can work with a variety of age groups, finding someone who specializes in working with children can be beneficial. 

What approaches do they take when working with children? 

It’s good to ask the approaches a therapist takes when working with children or teens.  Do they work solely with the child in sessions? Are sessions interactive? Do they incorporate play or art approaches?  There are many types of therapeutic approaches (CBT, DBT, modeling and skills training, etc.). Don’t be afraid to ask for clarification if you are uncertain of the approaches the therapist is referring to.

Do they work with children who struggle with ___________ (fill in the blank)?

It’s okay to ask if the therapist specifically works with children who struggle with what your child is experiencing (i.e. extreme emotional outbursts, anxiety, trouble sleeping, impaired focused, anger, engaging in self-harm, isolating from others, defiant behaviors, eating disturbances, sensory processing issues, low self-esteem, etc.).  Many times if it is out of their area of focus they will refer you to someone who does work with children or teens experiencing the specific symptoms or problems your child is facing.

How long do the children they work with stay in therapy? 

Although this is a hard question for a therapist to answer without knowing the extent of the problems your child is facing, it is still a good question to ask before you visit.  This helps you as a parent know what to expect regarding the possible length of time your child could be in therapy. I have seen children for only a few sessions and some who I’ve worked with on an ongoing basis.  Even if you don’t get an exact response, it’s still okay to ask.

How often do they meet with parents?  Do they include them in sessions?

As a child therapist, the extent to which I include parents in sessions varies based on the needs and age of the child and family.  I always like to meet with parents before and after each session to discuss their current concerns and provide recommendations and suggestions.  The way a therapist structures their sessions can vary from therapist to therapist. It’s good to know going in what extent you will be involved.  

This is also a good time to ask the more practical questions such as if they accept your insurance?  If your insurance plan doesn’t cover mental health services (unfortunately this is still the case for some plans, so it’s good to check your benefits) or you want to self-pay, what are their rates?  What forms of payment do they accept? Where are they located?

Don’t be afraid to ask questions when reaching out to a therapist for the first time.  Although you may not be able to ask all the questions you have before the first appointment, it’s okay to write down questions to bring with you.  And if you don’t know the questions to ask, that’s okay too. Therapists are there to help you. After you’ve decided on who you want to bring your child to, it’s time to schedule your first appointment

The Most Important Thing 

After you and your child have met the therapist for the first time it’s good to check in with yourself and your child following the first visit.  I call this the “intuition check”. This is where you ask yourself how you felt when you left the first appointment? How did your child feel? Does your child or teen want to go back for another appointment?

Now when I mean check-in, I don’t mean ask 101 questions.  I say this because as a parent I have the tendency to want to ask a lot of questions. If your child is asked a litany of questions following their appointment, he/she may feel conflicted and shut down or not engage in future sessions.  But, it’s okay to ask how they felt during their time with the counselor. What did they like best? What was their biggest takeaway?  

The most important thing is that your child feels comfortable with their therapist.

The therapeutic process hinges on the relationship between the therapist and the individual and/or family. It is important for your child to feel safe, comfortable and listened to during their time with the therapist. If a child (or parent) doesn’t feel comfortable in sessions, the therapist may not be the right therapist for them.  If you have concerns or become worried about how your child responds after a session, it’s okay to contact the therapist and talk with them about your concerns.

It May Take Time

Some children may need a few sessions before they feel comfortable.  Although it doesn’t happen often, I do occasionally have some children or teens that are still apprehensive after their first visit.  In fact, I once worked with child who struggled with severe anxiety. He hid under the chair in the lobby for the first several visits.  It took a while, but over time the child became more comfortable coming to sessions. At the end of our time together, the child gained so much confidence the child would ask the parents to schedule a follow-up visit when needing to talk.  

I also want to mention that there may be times when your child or teen is not ready for counseling.  I worked with a teenager once who was so closed off to the idea of counseling and would not budge.  At that time, I thought it would be more detrimental for the teenager to attend sessions. Instead, I worked with the parents to help them manage some of the concerns that were present.

There is no “one size fits all approach” to finding a therapist for your child.  However, finding someone who your child can connect and feel safe with allows for positive change to occur.  If you read this post, then I know you are a concerned parent who wants to find the right help for your child.  Just don’t give up. The right help is out there and the outcome you want for your child is possible.  

Christy Pennison, LPC-S, is a board certified professional counselor in Alexandria, LA. She specializes in working with children and adolescents through various mental, emotional, and behavioral challenges. Christy is passionate about helping children and teens find their unique strengths and develop skills to overcome whatever challenges they face and bravely navigate the world around them. She owns Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting whose mission is to inspire hope for change.