Examine the Beliefs that Hold You Back

Examine the beliefs that hold you back. Have you ever wondered how some people can do things that seem impossible? You’ve likely heard stories about people who have pushed themselves to accomplish incredible feats, defying all odds to overcome unimaginable challenges.

So what drives individuals to make possible the impossible?  Belief does.  

When we believe in something, our belief is the driving force that directs our thoughts and actions.  For example, at one time people believed the earth was flat. So they acted in such a way that reinforced their belief, never sailing further than the familiar.  It wasn’t until someone challenged that belief and exposed the inaccurate belief’s limitations by sailing out past the horizon. Only then, were they able to move forward, discovering the world wasn’t as tiny as they originally thought.

Across our lifetime, we form beliefs about ourselves and the world around us through our experiences.  From the time we come into the world, until the time we leave, we are constantly gathering information that creates, reinforces, or challenges beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us.  

Sometimes the beliefs we hold about ourselves keep us from the life we want.  Why? Well, somewhere along the way we have formed a belief that we are either not deserving or able to do the thing we desire to do.  Examine the beliefs that hold you back!

When I work with teens who are bullied, sometimes the belief of feeling “not ____ enough”  comes into play. They can begin to accept and believe an inaccurate thought about themselves even when close friends or family may dispute it.  This then causes them to create unhelpful assumptions. For example, they may assume when others are talking, they are talking about them which could be completely inaccurate. This leads them to reinforce their belief through behaviors by avoiding social situations.  When they are unable to connect with the world around them, it indirectly confirms to them that the belief of “I am not ____ enough” is true.

BELIEF IS POWERFUL.  Awareness of your beliefs is essential in recognizing the beliefs that are not serving you.  Staying stuck in negative patterns of belief keeps you from being who you are meant to be.  

1.  Bring awareness to the beliefs you hold, specifically about yourself

To begin changing negative beliefs you first have to notice the unhelpful ones you hold.  

Ask yourself: 

• Did past experiences lead me to think there was something wrong with me?  

• Is there a certain person I can link to the way I feel about myself?  

• How does the way they did or now treat me make me feel as a person?  

• What are some negative things I find myself saying about myself?

I have asked individuals to think through what negative beliefs they hold about themselves.  Many times they are: “I’m not enough”, “I’m not capable”, “I’m not smart enough”, “Nothing I do matters”.   

Examine the belief that hold you back. What beliefs in your life are holding you back from the things you want?  Write them down. Recognize where the belief started and how it has impacted your life. 

2. Choose the negative belief you want to change

Once you’ve discovered some of the core beliefs you hold, pick the one you feel would be the one that would have the greatest impact on your life if you changed it.  Identify how much you believe it on a scale from 1-10 (1-not so much, 10-a lot). Recognize the emotions this belief has caused you to feel. Then, develop an understanding of the evidence or experiences you’ve based this belief on.    

Once you’ve recognized a belief you have that is not serving you, then it’s time to challenge the belief.  

I used to hold a belief of, “What I say really doesn’t matter.”  At some point in my life, I was made to feel that way. Whether it be from someone dismissing my comment or making me feel like what I had to say didn’t make sense or wasn’t relevant.  Then unknowingly, I’d start looking for evidence that proved what I believed.  

For a while, my belief stopped me from sharing what I thought.  If you know me, you might find this hard to believe, but it’s true.  When I would raise my hand to make a comment in a college class discussion, my heart felt like it was beating outside my chest.  Once I said something, I immediately thought it was wrong unless I received some sort of validation. It wasn’t until I started testing my belief and challenging it did I realize how inaccurate my belief actually was. Examine the beliefs that hold you back from what you are passionate about.

3. Challenge the old belief by creating a new one

Think of a new, more balanced, belief you would want to adopt.  Going back to the example of me speaking, I wanted to claim the opposite of my belief and change it to, “What I say matters.”  Therefore, I needed to intentionally share my thoughts even when it was uncomfortable. The more I did this the more this belief began to shift.  I started realizing others actually listened when I spoke. This helped me establish this new belief in my thinking. We need to create opportunities to solidify the new belief we want to have.

Another way to create new beliefs is to say it until you believe it. There is power in the message we tell ourselves.  The more you repeat something about yourself to yourself the more we can adopt a mindset linked to that belief.

Once you believe you are _________ or can do __________ and really believe in the power of possibility, you will be unstoppable. 

Today, I encourage you to examine the beliefs you hold dear.  Ask yourself, “Is this belief serving me or holding me back?” If it is not something that helps you move forward, you may need to shift your beliefs.  Remember, your beliefs create your reality.

I hope you choose to adopt beliefs that say I am enough, I matter, and I can. What’s a new belief you can create today?