Coming Out: A Survival Guide to Coming Out to Your Family
When considering coming out to your family, it is important to remember the goal of the conversation. This more than likely means wanting to share and be vulnerable with your loved ones. Whether you have a close-knit family or you only have a few family members whom you are close with, here are a few tips that can help you have this conversation.
1. Practice, practice, practice
Practicing what you want to say can be a step in the right direction to prepare you for this conversation. Think of a time, place, and location—somewhere private and quiet will allow you the opportunity to speak out about your feelings. Practicing may look like writing a letter or a speech, so you get out everything you want to say. Choosing the right time can be important as well, because this conversation could change your interpersonal relationships. Also, deciding whether you want to tell your whole family at once or one member at a time.
2. Relying on your found family (social support)
When preparing for this conversation, it will be helpful to rely on your found family or social support system. This could look like practicing your speech and making sure you are hitting the high points with your family members. Or this may look like having your person or best friend be a part of this conversation. If they are not physically able to be there, then having them on standby to call immediately afterwards to support you in whatever way necessary. Even having this person on video call with you during this conversation can make you feel better supported.
3. Boundaries
Regardless of the outcome of this conversation, having boundaries in mind can help protect you throughout this process. Does this conversation mean you want to share every detail with your family? Does this mean that you feel comfortable with them asking questions if they do not understand? Or is this something you want to share but only talk about at your own pace? Answering these questions for yourself can help you begin the process for setting boundaries with your family concerning your love life, feeling comfortable bringing your person around your family, or introducing your friends to your family without fear of judgment from your family members. Or this could even mean having this conversation
with your family but being prepared to end things early if it feels as though it is getting too heated.
Ultimately, coming out to your family can be intimidating, regardless of the outcome. Surrounding yourself with people who you know love and support you can provide you with some comfort as you go through this journey. You are enough and it is okay to want to be loved and accepted by the people in your family. Family is not defined by just your blood relatives. Support for anyone struggling with feeling accepted or like they belong is vital.
About the Author:
Tiffany Rogers, LPC, specializes in working with individuals in the LGBTGEIAP+ community. She works with a team of highly trained therapists who understand how to help those struggling with difficult emotions find the relief they are seeking. Be Inspired Counseling & Consulting’s mission is to inspire hope for change to help individuals move forward and live fully. Click here to schedule an appointment today.
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